Is ‘love’ one of your values?

Once upon a time, in a galaxy far away...

I was asked to remove the word “Love” from a set of company values.

Even though a process to include the language of the people within those words had been done.

And love came out strong.

But the leadership of that business wasn’t comfortable with that word being used in that context.

They loved their partner, loved their children, possibly even loved their cat.

But they didn’t love their customers, or their people.

Not in that way.

That word did not resonate with them at all.

That was their prerogative, they were after all, the boss.

I didn’t agree. But I didn’t speak up either.

I did what I was asked.

And it got changed.

To a really middle of the road beige phrase. The safe option that speaks to everyone but speaks to no-one. The fence sitting option.

Not the hamster wearing pink glasses option. The love option. As the hamster wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea.

But the middle of the road beige word that made a group of people feel safe, secure, comfortable and reduce the risk of any type of innovation, challenge or change, was.

Like wearing some well-worn trusted slippers.

And I knew that I wasn’t the slipper wearing type, more of a killer heel and a good dash of red lip kind of girl. But found myself falling down the well-worn path of people pleasing.

Whilst momentarily forgetting that I am a person too.

Many years on from this experience, I’ve learnt the hard way that it’s better to be truly clear on your own values and drivers, what you stand for and what you don’t, be a little bit marmite rather than a lot of margarine.

And own it. It’s the superpower that can ignite potential and be the mental glue that keeps you together when things don’t always go as anticipated.

Trying to be all things to all people will just leave you sitting on the fence, where the only thing you get with any certainty, is splinters.

No one wants that. That can hurt.

And tying yourself in a pretzel shaped knot of discomfort to try and “fit” in a space where you perhaps aren’t ever going to feel you truly belong because your values don’t align will likely also hurt.

If you’re super clear about what you do, why you do it and who you serve in such a bold and compelling way, it will be without question not for everyone. Your values and mission can compel as easily as they can repel. Some people may even get annoyed about you and what you do.

Not everyone is going like you. Those people are not your people.

But the world is also filled with people who will love what you do fiercely. If you’re brave enough to stand up and be truthful about what that is. Shared purpose, common language and like minds. When you use your values as a lens to help people see what you do, why you do it and who you are.

They will show up for you and cheer you on. They will connect with your values and how you feel about certain things, because they will feel those things too.

They are your people.