Knowing when to quit
One evening last week, quite late at night, I had a conversation with someone who needed my help.
They had been unceremoniously dumped by their employer after 29 and half years.
An offer was on the table, they had two days to decide what to do.
Two days.
After nearly 30 years in role.
When I say dumped, read “ redundant”.
Except it's not really.
It’s a well told tale of a face no longer fitting, dressed up as a redundancy.
Decision made. Redundant. Done.
Except they are not done.
Far from it.
But the impact of how it's been handled has left them feeling that way.
It will likely take a lot longer than the mere short weeks the HR department will take to execute the plan, for them to feel even remotely like they are not done.
Their reasoning for staying on for so many years beyond the point of even liking the role, let alone finding joy, was due to the aforementioned redundancy package, being so good it was “worth waiting for”.
Except now it's here, it's not worth anything like what they thought it would be.
It's statutory. The minimum.
And if you're not well versed on statutory UK law relating to redundancy. Trust me, it's really not a lot.
Unlike the number of precious years invested into a job and a company that is never going to love you back.
Those 30 years, they were definitely not statutory minimum.
And definitely not going to be gained back. Anytime, ever.
The process to terminate their employment will be concluded in a short matter of weeks. And then it will be done.
And they are left not knowing.
Not knowing what’s next.
Not knowing why them.
Not knowing how to not be scared.
Staying too long in a space that is harmful to you will change you if you allow it.
Especially if that business is set up to serve a few and deplete the many in the name of “ high performance” or some other BS leadership crap, spouted by ill equipped, mediocre leaders.
The kind of leaders that read books called “Amp It Up” and think that’s what great leadership looks like. The kind of leaders who think compassion and kindness are weaknesses not strengths.
Those kinds of leaders will chip away at your self-worth, your sense of purpose, your passion, your health.
And no matter how good you think your bonus package is, or your potential redundancy package, or your job title might sound, it's never worth it.
I’m not saying change is easy, or quick but I am saying that you do have agency and you do have a choice. As long as you allow yourself to.
Nobody gets to decide your career destiny, how you work, how much you earn, learn or how much time you get to spend with your family. Unless you give in and allow yourself to be taken over by the wobble of self doubt and fear.
I lost years in the wobble, until I decided to choose myself first. Choosing to work with aligned partners and companies who share values, curiosity and kindness. Those who truly believe in human centric workplaces.
They do exist. If you seek them out and choose them.
And in the process, you will find that you get to choose you too.
With love,
Tamsyn x