In Memory of the Cuddly Twinkler

My Dad left this world 28 years ago this week.

I knew him for far less time than he has been gone.

I still miss him every day.

I miss that I never had his wisdom, safety or support when I was in my corporate career.

That I can’t ask him for his entrepreneurial advice now that I am one myself.

Most of all I just miss feeling like I have the security of having my Dad around.

He fought hard to keep us in a place of safety when I was growing up in West Cornwall. And I fought hard to leave that space as soon as I could.

And then he was gone.

I realise now, that after that loss, I often made my work represent my family, when I was inside the corporate machine. I made some errors because of that.

But businesses often play on this and talk about being “part of our family”.

Which in of itself isn’t great. Especially when the family dynamic breaks down.

Or the family plays favourites.

Or we operate like children, because we are being parented by our bosses.

Or we get told we are the wrong kind of sheep.

Businesses aren’t families, and sometimes families are not positive places to be.

And anytime we find ourselves shrinking to fit, the red flag alarm should be sounding somewhere loudly inside.

But businesses and workplaces can be sustaining, a place where we can thrive.

As leaders we have a responsibility to create conditions for humans to do their best work.

To be in a space where we can care for our physical, mental and emotional health.

But not as we take care of children.

And not as controlling parental leaders.

Let’s normalise leading adults as equals, with mutual trust and professional respect.

We all get to bring our best selves to the table.

My memories of observing and being around my Dad as he led his business, was always of him operating in adult mode, and treating colleagues, partners and customers with total respect and care.

He cared a lot about others. He believed in kindness.

I’ll aspire to always try and do the same. And I learnt that from him.

So, here’s to you Dad.

Thanks for shining a light on the need to care for others, be kind to others. You’ll always be my North Star.

And I hope you’re enjoying a pint today, propping up the long bar in the sky.